She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
