glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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