Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
