Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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