it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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