the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize