We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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