so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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