She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am mentally ready for anal.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
