Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
