is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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