you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
