Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
