i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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