using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
