so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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