No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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