whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
