Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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