and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
