Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
