I'm going to jail i love you
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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