If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Come see our sink grown plant.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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