"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
