would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
