We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
