you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
