My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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