Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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