That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
