Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
