Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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