Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
