i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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