This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize