3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
