just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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