the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think your dad took our porno
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
