I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize