Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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