So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
