a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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