i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
