omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
