I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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