You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
