my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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