If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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