What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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