i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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