you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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