Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
