Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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