Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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