the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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