i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have fence marks all over my body
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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