I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
