My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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