I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
